Life after social media and the meandering thought stream of deep consciousness

Event Horizon

Have you ever seen Event Horizon? I have, and, let me tell you, it had a profound effect on me. It made me realize something.

You see, I ordered a la-z-boy couch for in my living room. It’s like home theater seating or whatever. Everything reclines, quality leather, a nice colour, ample cup holders and storage space; all in all, a pleasing model. But I have been discovering that it may be more than just a couch, it may be something that can be experienced. In Event Horizon, a ship is built that creates a portal (inadvertently) to hell. My ship is a couch, and while I wont be finding a portal to hell, I will find a portal to comfort. When I sit down, I will get real comfortable, see? That’s only the start of the magic that is couch-wizardy. What will happen next will defy the physics of yesterday. The comfort itself will reach an apex and fold back on itself to create a portal to more comfort. An endless of supply of comfort will be piped in through this quantum doorway beneath my sweet ass. Over time, a break-in will occur which will slowly cause this gateway to expand and engulf the entire ship. At this point, I will reach the event horizon of comfort. The portal will have side effects, though. Chair naps are imminent. Slim, contoured beverage containers may all but replace the now antiquated “mugs”; a direct result of beverage containers not fitting the designated beverage container holders.

The entire situation is risky; dangerous, even. But I think that if we are to continue leading at the forefront of comfort, we must pursue this. I can not speak for the rest of mankind but I, personally, am willing to accept the risks.

To quote one of the leading minds in the field, “…perhaps the gateways to the future are not in outerspace, but in the comfort of our own homes.”

I agree. For that reason, my ship shall, too, be called The Event Horizon. God speed you, ship. Take me home, to the land of comfort.

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